What If?
by xxiiixo
Summary: NoelxSerah. The journey from day one had started a line of questions that string along with the red string of fate that had already been tied between them.


_What If_

**_A Noerah Fanfic_**

* * *

_What if?_

A simple phrase for sure. But no matter how simple the phrase, it always held a questioning tone. Not merely from the question mark at the end of the sentence structure, but from the implications that came along with those two words. And even if they were simple words, each letter represented every idea and aspect that pushed beyond the allowance of the human mind.

Hopes, dreams, imagination, ideas, longing-all of these could describe the hidden meaning when this very phrase is given life from an individual. What was and still is always an amazing feature of this phrase is how many more questions can dislodge themselves from the one question itself.

The perfect example would be the numerous questions that began to form themselves after that one day where Serah muttered a simple-**_what if?_**

This man, this mysterious man clothed in blue. Wings adorned on his back and nothing but truthfulness in his eyes. What was it about him that made her feel completely sure of herself and calm in mere seconds?

_What if he was telling the truth?_

_What if he knew where her sister was?_

**_What if he could make me happy again?_**

These set of questions plagued her mind as he took her hand and led her to the huge gate that had formed before their very eyes. A monster emerged, or an anomaly as it was described. The battle was a distraction, but afterward more questions began to occur.

_What if, I decide to go with him?_

She already knew that answer to that question though because no later than the next morning were they setting off through the gates to an unexplored moment in the future.

The structure of Paddra Ruins served as a warm welcome with another anomaly greeting them with open arms. A familiar face arrived to provide assistance, and as more information was revealed, more questions arose.

Time passed and had aged her friend as well as made him even smarter than before. Information on that of a seeress and an oddity of images from the Oracle Drive showed proof that Lightning was indeed alive _somewhere_. The images weren't clear enough, an eclipse overhead causing problems with it functioning properly.

That doesn't stop the idea forming in their minds though. Serah recalls her dream and Hope has a flash of amazement and relishes in the small bit of a chance that Lightning is alive.

"I saw this in my dream. And you too."

Noel glanced at her as she spoke softly. He simply nodded in return, already knowing Lightning was alive seeing as he was only here to begin with because he asked her to come here.

But _what if_ that wasn't the only thing keeping him attached anymore?

He wanted to save the future that was obvious enough. But even though he did wish for a miracle, what if he was starting to feel as if he was granted a miracle already?

What if he started feeling like his travel companion had been given to him as a miracle? He already felt like she gave his life meaning, just her mere presence.

_What if her smile was starting to make him smile too?_

They stood at the top of a cliff in Oerba, 200AF. Nothingness is intertwined in the atmosphere. The desolate mood attached itself to any visitor as the decrepit buildings were still standing without purpose.

As the two travelers run around with moogle in hand, standard conversation was being held to occupy themselves.

"Fang and Vanille used to live here."

Noel raised an eyebrow. He had heard a few tidbits about said women beforehand, but he didn't know them personally so it wasn't as if he could say much in return.

"Oh really? Wanna find the house?"

Serah felt a twinge of sadness but then curiosity overtook that momentary lapse of feeling. She nodded before starting to run in any direction. There had been a few times where Vanille had mentioned her home, what it looked like, how it had made her so happy to be there with Fang.

Glancing around, she could see the hem of Noel's pants flash above her as he climbed up onto a building. As he knelt down, his hand reached out to assist her up the rather steep incline.

"We can see better from up here."

She nodded at his suggestion just as a wind passed over them. Although the place was pretty much a wasteland, the scenery from above was still quite lovely. The subtlety of the blue sky amidst some clouds provided a nice contrast. Alluring to the senses like the calm before the storm.

The young woman felt a tug at her gloved hand as the man nearby led her along to the other side of the rooftop. His hand still intact with her own, she didn't have much time to dwell on it as he was pointing at the landscape further out.

There seemed to be another rooftop further along, with a perfectly made garden decorating its area.

"A garden? Who would've thought flowers would be in a place like this."

"Maybe spirits like to do it as a hobby."

The statement was rather silly and nonsensical, but either way Serah still couldn't help but smile at it.

"I doubt it." She could see his lips still holding a slight smile just as she moved her hands behind her back. "Hey Noel, what if we went and got some flowers from there? Do you think the spirits would be mad?"

"Heh, I think they'd be flattered."

"Flattered?"

"A pretty, young woman like you desiring their flowers? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I would be flattered if I was a gardening spirit here."

The idea was far beyond silly now but it once again, made Serah smile like there was nothing else she could do but that. He always said witty and subtly sweet quips like that.

_What if he ever got me flowers?_

_What if he got me lilies?_

For some reason this made her blush. The fact that Noel had grabbed her hand only mere moments ago hadn't made her blush, but this simple question in her mind had. A question over flowers nonetheless.

Noel could sense her train of thoughts. It was an odd trait of his, to be able to read people to a certain extent. But Serah made it too easy to read her more than half the time.

"What are your favorite flowers Serah?"

The girl stopped in mid thought and froze in her bodily movements as she was caught off-guard by the question. Was he secretly a mind reader?

"Oh um, well I love lilies."

The young time traveler nodded while jotting down that detail into his memory.

"Lilies are nice."

There had been no lilies in the garden seen from afar. The temporal rifts being restored had caused the aftereffects of the Oracle Drive showing the two sisters reuniting years ago. It also revealed the presence of Caius Ballad and Yeul.

The protector of time was not one to be taken down easily. His explanation of the seeress named Yeul did not go unheard, seeing as, she appeared before them during their return to Yaschas Massiff.

"You too can show others the way."

The statement brought nothing but confusion to the pink-haired woman as she began to ponder over it. She could show others the way. Did that apply to Noel? Were they united for this reason?

The questions were never-ending and a second reunion with Hope and his assistant Alyssa brought about re-introductions all over again. They hadn't remembered their visit from before, but the viewing of the Oracle Drive seemed to help smooth things over.

Lightning battling the very man they had just fought hours or well-**_years_** before. The falling of Cocoon. And that statement from the seeress still enveloped her thoughts. So many questions going unanswered.

She felt a hand pat her back and looking over she saw a smiling Noel. Not just a smile on his lips, but it reflected in his eyes. A question overruled all the current ones that had been residing in her mind.

_What if, I make him smile?_

Her heart raced slightly as the question formed that idea in her mind and she quickly smiled back before turning her attention back to Hope.

The conversation shifted to how Hope was going to minimize the future damage from Cocoon falling by starting preparations with the Academy in the present.

But Noel had gotten lost between her smile and questions intruding in his own mind now.

_What if, she's the only one who makes you feel this much happiness?_

_What if you want to do nothing but make her happy too?_

It angered him.

The sight of his nonchalance. The nerve to actually sit there and act like nothing was wrong. The indecency of holding onto _her_ the way he was, when in his eyes, he didn't deserve to be mere centimeters in her presence.

It had been obvious from the first time he saw Serah, how much she had been missing all the good things. She had lost her happiness both in losing her sister and her fiancée. Over that time, she had to move on with life alone, with nothing to cling to but false hope and the idea that one day her love _might_ return to her.

_What if he's no good for her?_

That might've been the case, and he definitely did not find this other man to be someone that he would feel okay with her waiting for. It wasn't his place to judge or to say anything, especially since he had only known her for a short time.

_What if, you know her better than he does?_

_What if she doesn't love him anymore?_

He recalled during their initial conversations, she had mentioned Snow under the category of being a _good friend_. The way they were holding one another was almost awkward to even look at. The blond man seemed completely fine with it, but there was still a look of uncertainty dwelling in those blue eyes of hers that were stealing minimal glances in his direction.

A distraction was luckily given to the group as they move forward to their next destination. Yet even after this, the return to Sunleth shows Snow being as reckless as ever. And then he disappears yet again from her life. Noel can do nothing but nod in return to his request of protecting her.

She didn't shed any tears. If anything, she looked confused. The brand was on his arm again. That very brand that had started everything. Noel was trying to help her make sense of it, but either way, in the end he was still going to turn to crystal regardless of whether he achieved his goal or not.

And then she realized that as much as she might've gotten upset over the thought of it before, now, in this present moment with who she was a person-all she could so was respect his decision.

All she could do was keep fighting for him and her sister since they had done nothing but do the same for her three years ago. And now as she looked over at those sapphire eyes, she could do nothing but want to keep accomplishing anything and everything with him.

_What if I like being around him more than I ever did Snow?_

The stressful environment in coming battles would not have been easy to face alone, but with the time traveler by her side she was able to overcome them. The Academia and Proto fal'Cie Project was like a mix of chaos and disbelief. Yeul appearing to explain everything in great detail left them with no choice but to descend down into the tower and destroy the impending threat.

The previous moments before their descent into the core was something that was difficult to overlook. She had died with a smile on her face.

_What if I ever died?_

_What if Noel ever died?_

Noel was running as fast as he could. All he could do was use every bit of his strength to avoid any more deaths.

_What if Serah ever died?_

He was trying to stray from the subject of death. And although he knew that in any normal circumstance he would never let her die that easily, these weren't normal circumstances anymore.

And they certainly weren't after the Void Beyond made a second appearance.

The dream had been a dream that Serah might've still longed for years ago. But she wasn't the same girl as she was back then. Over time, her admirations and ambitions had changed. And that being said, Fang and Vanille had helped her out of the fantasy that had been created to trap her there.

It was up to her to help Noel out of his dream.

_What if I ever married Noel?_

The question preyed on her mind as she raced through the different events playing out before her. Noel battling Caius, him talking with Yeul once again to only have her die in his arms. The scene was heartbreaking. She hated seeing him in such a state. He was always smiling whenever he looked at her.

And it was just as the man before her attempted to go into a distortion that she was finally able to pull him out of his dream. It was finally her first chance to save him.

"Serah I don't think this is a good idea."

The idea of continuing forward with everything was all being questioned now. Serah had the Eyes of Etro, the gift of seeing the future, but it also had the heavy burden of being a curse as well. In the end, each time her eyes held that lifeless look, she was brought one step closer to her death.

_What if Serah dies?_

He prayed for a miracle so it had brought him to Valhalla to begin with. But why couldn't he shake this feeling that maybe the miracle wasn't stopping the future from being ruined. What if the miracle was a person. The determination of the woman before him made him believe that _she_ was the miracle. She was his miracle.

He'd be damned if he let anything happen to her.

The gate opened to the Historia Crux and they started making their way to the newest gate that had appeared for them to enter.

Although it was a strange thing to have pop into her mind, Serah couldn't help but ask.

"Noel, what kind of place would you live in if you ever got married?"

His thoughts halted as he took this question into consideration. "Well, probably a place like New Bodhum. I wouldn't mind living near a beach. But I'd also want some privacy for those more romantic moments, so maybe a house on an outlook near the beach."

She couldn't help but giggle softly at the prospect of Noel's dream home. But it made her blush to think of her being in that dream home with him.

"That sounds nice. I don't think I would mind living like that either. "

_What if Serah was my wife?_

His thoughts had completely done a 180 from the lingering uneasiness of Serah's possible death to her possibly being his wife. It wasn't so much a possibility as it was a daydream. Those feelings for her hadn't been anything but platonic, not until he got so angry at Snow at Sunleth Waterscape. Now he wasn't sure what to label those feelings as.

He just knew he never wanted to lose her.

"One thing at a time Serah."

And her sister was gone again. Such a short amount of time to cherish something that had been missed far beyond reason. But there was no time to think on how much she had missed her sister-her and Noel had to take care of things and fast.

The help of comrades got them as far as battling with Caius in the present moment to traveling through a wormhole to encounter him in Valhalla. The distant shores where time does not exist.

_What if we win?_

There was no what ifs on that matter anymore. They **_had_** to win. The future had to be saved, and the only way to do so was to destroy Caius.

"The only way to save her is to kill me."

Almost as if it was a dare. It became something so much more than that at the mentioning of him having killed Lightning. The sentence was only for provocation, but the malice intent still lingered. And as the keeper of time lunged at the one thing he never wanted to lose-he reacted on pure instinct.

The blade stayed still. He refused to kill this man, even though he had threatened the one thing he cherished the most now. But as the protector of time pierced himself with the blade, everything fell into place.

With the timeline resolved, all they had to do was exit the gate in time. That was easy enough.

They floated together, much like they had since day one of their journey. Their hands grabbed out for one another's as nothing but pure happiness showed upon their faces.

_What if we're always smiling like this?_

It would be perfection. There was no other words for it. The way their hands were perfectly fitting into one anothers as they descended slowly to the pier. Their bodies landed upright and Noel helped to steady her on her feet.

Although they had let their hands drop, that tingling sensation was still there and they could do nothing but stare. It was an intense feeling, one of pure happiness. Each of them had set out on a journey and had relied and trusted on each other the entire time. They had grown closer, formed such a strong bond that perhaps no one else in either of their lives thus far had ever been able to do.

"Hey Noel, thank you."

_What if I tell her you're welcome and tell her how I all I want is to see her smiling?_

And in that moment, as his lips parted to tell her that very line along with the deepest part of him that had always longed to be spoken from day one-**it all became nothing**.

_What if I tell you, I don't think I can live in a world without you?_

His hand reached out in an instant, grabbing her own as he already saw the defining fate unfolding before him. Her eyes held that gleam, that symbol- the last thing she ever saw was him.

He pulled her close to him, holding her body against his own as he whispered so softly as if to try and stop what he already knew was coming.

"Please, not now."

It had been the worst thing that had ever happened upon his soul. Not even the destruction of his future could compare, because what was his future without her in it?

He fell to the ground gradually, holding her now lifeless body in his arms. Sadness was his only companion as his hand caressed her beautiful features with every shred of feeling that he had been unable to say in time.

_What if I don't think I can smile without you here?_

_What if **I love you**?_

And although the sun shone over the horizon as if to act like a small glimmer of hope, that still did not stop the tears from streaming down his face. The scream that echoed along with the wind, this was an aura of his pain for the world to feel. And until the one thing that he had just lost was returned to him, that feeling of devastation would follow him like a shadow every millisecond he still took breaths.

Gripping her body closely against his chest, he whispered to her, staring down at her like he always would when he spoke to her before-when her blue eyes would stare up at him as if she was happy just to have him looking at her.

"I'll never give up…not on my miracle."

_What if all I want is you and nothing else matters to me anymore?_

A young man from 700 years into the distant future traveled to the shores of New Bodhum. The prayer for a miracle had clicked the gears and attached the red string of fate from himself to the girl now lying in his arms. And even now, he was praying for a miracle. He was praying for _his_ miracle to be returned to him.

"I'll never give up on you Serah."


End file.
